A knock in the head.

For those that know me, they know that I am in constant perpetual motion.  Multi-tasking is something I take to a whole new level.    However, one sometimes needs a good smack in the head to get the point across, that its time slow down, look around and appreciate all the amazing things and people I have in my life.  To focus on my health and happiness.   Its not all about business and the closing of the next deal.

And that time was this week.    As I laid on the bottom of the steps with the blackberry somehow removed from the palm of my hand (note picture proof - it can be removed from my hand), being choked by the phone headset.  I woke up with a splitting headache and a phone going " BEEP BEEP BEEP ". 

Three days later, still have that splitting headache and a new appreciation for walking in the cold air.   Seems as cold air helps get rid of the headache.    A konk on the head, has helped me get away from the computer.   A konk on the head has helped me get back outdoors and start walking.   A konk on the head has helped me appreciate this wonderful world we live in.     As I walk in the cold, I do not think about work, deals or business.   I think about friends, family and what new adventures I want to be on with these amazing people.  I dream.   I dream big.   England, Paris, Italy, Boats and fast cars.    Now if only I could find a walking partner that likes walking at midnight under the moon - no words need to be spoken - just the company of another person to look up and see the moon with.   The company of another person to share the amazing sound of crunching of snow under the my toes all snug in my big boots.

Happy Crunching ... off to snowshoe shoe today !

To Meditate or Not

FB Status Update

Meditation is painful in the beginning but it bestows immortal Bliss and supreme joy in the end. ..... says Swami .... I'm still at the painful part :) says Kat
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Last night en route back to home after being in a very long sales conference, I had decided to stop into the local sports store to get replacement poles for my snow shoes .. and at the same time talk to a friend, and get his opinion on meditation, and why I find it so difficult to do.  As you see, Eric is an Iron Man, Vegetarian Man, Lance Armstrong Freak .. and " the shoe guy " there .. Between you, me and this blog .. I kinda idolize the guy :) because he's so dedicated to his sport and his lifestyle .. but I will never own up to that to him, as it would go straight to his ego.   I said " Eric " with a straight face " Why do I have such a hard time trying to meditate ".   A few moments later after he had finished laughing, and said " you .. " and then went back to laughing.  Apparently it is a belief that I have a hard time sitting down and "shutting off ".   That will be another conversation.

Out of the 15 minute conversation with him,  I have taken, so what if I am not good at meditation - it is not for everyone.   Is not the whole purpose of the challenge to sit, reflect, and reflex.   So in a way I already do that, I sit with my coffee each morning, look out the back window across the back yard, today its especially pretty almost a blue tone across the snow.   And each night I look out the window or go outside and look at the moon.  I take a good long look at it.    I appreciate the beauty of the moon high above me.   It may not be a traditional meditation technique .. but its my time out from my busy, crazy, non stop .. but wonderful life.   I am a very lucky person.

Solgurt .... Friend or Foe

2012 is a year that I have declared "Kat's going to lead a healthier life".   Recently I have been introduced to a lovely little diner in Toronto called " Sadie's " (Queen and Bathurst's) ... and there I began my quest of  "Can Kat become a vegetarian ".    Their damn menu made it look so easy.

Now traditionally I jump into things feet first without testing the water, I rapidly get bored, dry off and find something new to tweak my interest, but this quest is different.    This is about getting physically and mentally healthier - not just for my daughter, but for myself.   I truly believe that my self esteem will increase two fold if I feel better physically and mentally.    So the quest in reality is eating better, moving more and generally attempting to cut down stress.    This is the start of my 21 day challenge of yoga, meditation and incorporating more vegetarian meals into my life.   Yah Thanks Michele .. not sure if this will rebuild a friendship .. or destroy it.  Apparently the 21 day goal will be long enough to make positive life changes.

So over the next few weeks, I will be documenting my triumphs and failures over this challenge.    Which brings me to Solgurt.  Yah.   First why must I give up dairy? Does it hurt an animal to be milked?  Maybe I will become a partial vegetarian and still eat animal products if it comes to my dinner table unharmed.   

Day One A.M was a tad crazy.  Rushing off to get the kid to school and myself to the office, and somehow I managed to forget to eat breakfast (not a good start of this getting healthy thing) and I forgot to bring a lunch.   Quick stop into Planet Organic that will solve the situation.   As I puttered through the aisles of what I could eat I found myself gravitating to the dairy and non dairy frig.   Solgurt, okay the packaging looks nice, grab a couple of banana's and I am good to go.    Apparently by my facebook status update that this was a awesome breakfast to have on my quest, but I was missing my protein and should have added six almonds.   Yes six, not seven, not eight but six.  Mental note, ask Sam " why freakin' six ".   Excited about my purchase I hold off till I get to the office.  I run into the office excited to show of my new purchase of " solgurt ".   A group of very bored looking people stood around me as I ripped off the lid to dive into my new healthy life style choice .. I swear I could hear them chanting " go Kat go .. go Kat go ".. and .. EWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE  Its a grey looking substance that looks like something my daughter has mixed multiple paint brushes in.  Okay check expiry date .. its okay .. one person looks at me and says .. try it Kat.   If you don't try it we will find someone that will.  I suddenly felt like I was back in the '70's with the cereal commercial of " get Mikey to try it, he will try anything "  Unfortunately there are no Mikey's in my office.   So I said, " I've made it this far " (3 hours into the quest).  Take my spoon, dip it into the solgurt, close my eyes and put it into my mouth.    Yah, I'm still eating dairy at this time.   My body is not completely ready to get rid of all dairy products. 

The Summary of 2011

Its been a year since I have written in this blog - mostly because I have a serious issue with being able to sit down and find the time.    Commitments have always been a struggle for me.  Mostly when the commitments involving having to sit down and focus.   I suspect that says a lot about my personality, my weaknesses and my strengths.

The Year of 2011 has truly been one of the hardest years of my life - I tried desperately to take the higher road on many things - and have learnt that sometimes you need to kick and scream - then on other situations I kicked and screamed where I should have taken the higher road - and just accepted and moved on.   In the end, I feel better about myself when I take the higher road.   When I just accept things for what they are, and move on after a good cry on a couch with a stiff drink in hand.

Throughout all the drama in my life this year - with " crazy beth " and personal relationship issues I have learnt that in the end .. I desperately want the people around me to be happy - and sometimes that means letting go of people that mean the most to you.    The old cliche of letting something go - is actually in many cases - very real - except - I do not expect it to come back.   As Mick Jaggar says " you cant always get what you want " ...

As much drama that I had in 2011 - I will take from the year some amazing moments - realizing my personal strength as I dived into the water at 3 a.m. in a storm to keep the family safe.   Watching my daughter blossom after her first week away on her own at stay away camp and Niagara Wine Tasting - seeing burton cummings live .. what an amazing man he is.   And having old friends come back into my life after a long absence - these things have all brought me big smiles and tears.

The year of 2012 I hope will bring continued personal growth.   I constantly strive to be gracious.   I have always owned up to my mistakes and errors.    Now its time to work on being humble and accepting.   I have been told that I am fiercely independent.    And for some reason always took a dislike to that term.    Today, I realized its not the word independent that I object to - as I hope that is one trait I am able to teach my daughter - but the word fierce.    Fierce to me seems like such a negative word.   Scary word.   And somewhat of a violent word.    But now sitting back, combining the words together " fiercely independent " I look at them and say I would rather be fiercely independent - knowing how to take care of myself - then be dependent on others.   Because in the end, only you can be responsible for you.

So all in all 2011 has been a challenging  year ... but I will embrace what I learnt and move on to 2012 with an adventure with my amazing daughter at my side.

A post to a friend that wanted my insight on a reunion.

The following email was sent to my old but young friend Tara Diachun.   She asked  for all of our perceptions of a reunion that we had two years ago for a class she was taking.   This was my email to her.


My random thoughts at 5:30 a.m. with my hot coffee in hand.




Its always fun to meet old friends and acquaintances after x amount of years .. but there are always concerns too. For me it was a mixed feeling of both. Insecurities and old memories of being the runt of the group definitely popped up - certain people that were relatively mean to me as a child still poking hard at me as an adult. And the excitement of seeing people that meant the world to you back in the day as you played barbies under a tree .. and noticing that the chemistry still is there 30 plus years later. I find it cute that Karen is considered a stonergirl .. considering she never lived on the street .. but we all love her so much because of the energy and smiles she brings that she's considered family. The chemistry between yourself and her is captivating. I find it interesting how some of us have on the outside completely changed .. but inside .. we are still relatively the same people .. there is the quiet one, the funny one, the pretty one, the sarcastic one, the odd one, etc etc .. I will always look back at that first reunion with big smiles and giggles - but a little more self aware, that I was not the only one with insecurities growing up.

K

The One Attempted Border Crossing

Guess I should explain that :) ... Im always trying to add new things to adventure .. change them up a tad.   Well .. This one was after going to Toudassac .. thought .. lets drive due south .. cross over .. and go home via route of Vermont and New York .. and re-enter Canada .. through Ontario .. so there I was with my trusty map .. and guide (aka Brooke) .. drove due south to come across Pohenegamook .. a small gate to the USA .. see mommy here didnt want to travel an hour east to get rejected at the border due to not having paperwork .. had our passports just not a notarized letter from her father .. so .. there I am all proud as I find a gateway due south .. unfortuately .. with a smile and a very good sense of humor the chap would not allow me to cross .. as it was a friday .. and it would have been 40 miles of logging roads .. had we broken down .. no one would have found us till Monday .. so we continued to to Ontario .. made it to Cornwall .. crashed the night there .. woke up .. and took a cruise to boyd castle in NY .. each adventure can be replaced with a new adventure ..

Eight days and one attempted border crossing

I've been back for over a week from the road trip with Brooke.   It was an amazing adventure with her.   8 days .. Old Montreal Old Quebec then north east to Toudassac .. the look on her face when she saw the whales swimming in the river was amazing.   I am hoping I made an impact with Brooke on this trip ... stopping in side cheese factories - breaking bread at the side of the road.   Wandering the streets of old montreal - seeing the great churches of the down town core.    Puttering through Old Quebec City - the last and only walled city of North America.      Brooke was enchanted by Montreal and announced that she was going to move to Montreal and open a boutique and live on top of it.   She was going to create.    Didn't matter what she was going to create .. just that she was going to create.

Each year Brooke and I could escape to the Island for beach and fun .. but in the end .. the travelling .. the lack of electronics and the company of just the two of us .. was incredibly bounding.

Now .. what will be the next adventure